I had a co-worker in another department come up to me today with a question about whether or not he could do something. See, we have about 20 computers on campus with a specific type of software and correlating hardware installed on them. Due to the nature of the programs, the regular campus technicians aren’t allowed to service the external hardware nor the connections to the computer. Frankly, it pisses this guy off something fierce. I’ve heard at least five times “It’s just a couple of USB cables! Why can’t I remove them or set them up?” Honestly, if I had my druthers I’d let him but I can’t. Anyhoo, one of the offices with these computers installed is getting new machines so we have to re-install all the software and hardware on the new machines. No big deal. It’ll probably take me an hour or two. Well, this guy, let’s call him Smithers comes up to me this morning while I’m putting stuff in the fridge and says “Hello.” I assume he’s just being friendly and start to leave when he says my name. When I turn around I find a visibly nervous Smithers. So nervous in fact he’s practically out of breath. Wants to know if he can make an image with the software and drivers already on it to save some hassle. We go back and forth on it for a while because he’s not being clear AND he’s being an arrogant ass. When I finally get the giste (he wants to make an image to use for the 20 machines with the software on it and then throw it out when the new machines are done) I tell him he needs to talk to the project manager for the overarching project. At this point he gets huffy about the whole thing. Says he’s just trying to make things easier for everyone. I’m not sure why he’s so concerned about this software other than he’s not allowed to touch it. In all honesty, it probably wouldn’t matter if they put it on an image but I’m not willing to let it happen. In the end, if something goes wrong, I need to know with 100% surety that the software is installed correctly. I just can’t be if those jokers get to monkey with it. Anyway,? what really caught my attention about the whole thing today was how downright scared Smithers was to talk to me about his idea. I don’t believe I’ve ever given him reason to fear me. I’ve certainly never yelled at him or threatened him. Maybe he knew I’d say no but was hoping I wouldn’t. Anyway, I have no idea what his damage is or why he’s so intimidated by me. Probably just that low self esteem kicking in. Poor Smithers…

For the past 2 years, the “team” I’m on at work has been doing a “team building” excercise with the DISC assessment. What’s the DISC assessment? Well, it’s basically a personality test that helps to define how you act in your work environment. The idea is that everyone takes the test, finds out what category they fit in (Dominant, Influence, Steadiness, Conscientiousness), and then works with the whole team to figure out how to work better together. The first time we did this we found out what we are (I’m a D) and how we relate to the other types in our group. This time we learned about how the other types work and what behaviors we need to change to work better with those other types. It was a very interesting few hours and the main thing I took away from it was not what was intended. I think it may have been the reverse.

Basically, we were handed sheets of info about each of the types. These sheets explained how each of the types functioned and how to best deal with them. It also listed the weaknesses of each of the types and what to watch out for when dealing with the particular types. Now, I quickly put 2 and 2 together and realized I’d just been handed a gold mine of information. Can you see it yet? Let me stress the part that’s important: it listed their weaknesses!? Essentially, we were given four sheets of paper with explicit information about how to manipulate and control members of all the other types. Let me give some examples:

1. One type dislikes conflict and agression in the extreme. So much so that when forced into a confrontation, they will generally cave to your demands to get out of the situation. The sheet actually outlined this. So, I couldn’t help thinking, from now on, when I really want something from that group of individuals over there, I just need to come off really agressive and they’ll cave right away!
2. Another group is more concerned about group harmony and emotions than the facts involved. They’d rather make everyone happy than do it the right way the first time. So to exploit this person I just need to come off as extremely emotional and lead the individual on a rioutous roller coaster of feelings until they give me what I want.

Obviously these techniques won’t work on everyone who falls with the definition of the types but I find it very interesting how closely my own assessment fit me.

? So, I have a feeling that the team building excercise failed this year. Why? Obviously the intent was good but all the half day of DISCing did was supply new information on how to better control and manipulate your collegues. Maybe that was the intent but I highly doubt it.

So, some background. There are currently two divisions of Information Services where I work. Soon there will be three. Currently, we’re all located in different areas on the campus and there’s no love lost between us all. Now, for almost two years, a new building has been under construction on campus for IS, as well as a whole slew of other areas. So far so good. Except it’s not good. Come August first, all three divisions of IS, which is over 80 people, will be crammed into one massive cube farm. The first issue we saw was the noise. Thankfully, that has been addressed with noise generators that will supposedly take care of that issue. What’s come to light recently though is somewhat amusing and dismaying at the same time. Our director sent an email out to her staff this week about a new committee the CIO has formed. The entire purpose of this committee is to develop a code of conduct for what is appropriate in our new distopia of a cube farm. I find it pathetic that we have to have a committee to talk about what is appropriate and what is not. Some of the issues are reasonable (burnt pop-corn, music, etc) but some are not (language, yelling for co-workers instead of calling, etc). Has our society really degenerated to the point that we need someone to tell us what is approrpiate in a work environment? Are people really so stupid as to think that calling someone a bitch or cunt in the work place is actually acceptable? Unfortunately, they are. Now, I’ll be the first to say that I am highly inappropriate at times but I’m very careful about what I say and to whom. I know what the limits are and I know that some co-workers will grin when I make a raunchy joke and some will not. Based on that knowledge I guard the things I say carefully. Some individuals don’t. I’m hoping that once we get moved into the new area, we’ll get to see some hefty fireworks when some of those individuals start in on their normal routine. I honestly can’t wait.

Red sands, crystal skulls,
Witches in the wind.
Crooked trees, spells of fire,
Tails of donkies pinned.

Season’s shadow, werewolf’s glory,
Love and war abound.
Mystery hunt, swan song’s sting,
Twilight eyes of hound.

Pale dragon’s crown, adept of blue
Bearing an hourglass.
What a tangled skein we weave
As through life we pass.

The source of death through streams of passing,
Red branches of the stars.
Servants of an unloved time
Who hide behind their scars.

War of wizards, mother’s love.
Deep water in the vale.
Night shift on the river wall
Unto you I hail.

Hunters of the legacy.
Jewels of a ladies hand.
At the gates of heaven’s door
Is where I’ll make my stand.

Crystal shard of red and silver,
Split infinity.
I think tonight I’ve found my place
For all eternity.

I love words. I always have. I discovered very early on that words, when chosen with forethought and care, have tremendous power. Power to heal and power to hurt; it’s up to you, Grasshopper, to use them wisely.

You’ll notice the title of this post is politically correct, which is what I’m planning on grumping about this evening and it ties into my opening up there. Essentially, words only have the power we allow them to have. Don’t believe me? Go hang out with a bunch of five and six year olds and you’ll quickly learn what I mean. All it takes is five kids chanting in a sing-song tone “Sally likes green lolly pops!” to bring Sally to tears. Why? Because as a child, she doesn’t realize those words don’t have to hurt her. She just lets them. More to the point, we let ourselves hear the intent behind the words as they are spoken and fly off the handle. So, that kind of contradicts my “Words have power” theme if it’s not really the words that are causing the problem, eh? Not really…

Let’s think about the words mentally retarded. When I was a boy, it was perfectly all right for an adult to say that a child was mentally retarded. It meant the child had developmental issues and that was that. However, some brilliant child took the ed off the end of the word and called someone a retard and a most glorious insult was born. I can’t tell you the joy using that word brought to so many children in my elementary schools! So, suddenly mentally retarded sounds a lot like retard and now that phrase is bad! So, they’re not mentally retarded. Suddenly they’re special. Wait though, I thought all children were special? Okay, so they’re not special. Hmmm…oh wait, I know! They have a developmental disability! Okay, that’s better. Wait, don’t say the developmentally disabled boy! That’s not okay! You’ve just labeled him! He’s a boy with developmental disabilities! What?!?

Do you see the problem yet? No? What are you, retarded? The point is that every single one of those new phrases means the same thing! No matter what fancy words you wrap around it, they all mean the kid’s not right in the head. Mentally retarded, special, developmentally disabled or shit-for-brains, they all mean the same thing. So, where does being PC get us? It makes everyone feel better about the fact that they’re referring to the retarded kid but being nice about it. Whatever…if it means the same thing, it is the same thing.

So, how does this equate to Words have Power? Political Correctness is all about words having power. Someone along the way realized that if you call someone black or brown or yellow or whatever they might get insulted. So now we have all these different types of Americans. Now you have to know all the right ways to place your words when talking about the next door neighbors Downs Syndrome disaster. Who the fuck cares? I actually spent an hour and a half meeting at work several years ago arguing about how we advertise that we have services for people with disabilities. Everyone wanted to use some other phrase to basically say the same thing. I finally got frustrated, turned to the CIO at the time and said in a nice loud voice, “What’s the big deal? I always thought the word cripple worked just fine. Why’d they go and change it?” The beauty of that one moment will live with me through the rest of my life. The whole room went into an agonized silence. You could literally see people desperately trying not to laugh, others trying to look horrified, and more actually being horrified. Luckily the CIO got the joke and actually did laugh. He also got the point. He picked a phrase and that was the end of it. But it was amazing how much power the word cripple had. And that’s not even one of the bad ones. Don’t believe me? Drop the N-word in a meeting sometime. (Notice that word has so much power even I won’t spell it out). Words have power because people let them. I used to let the phrase White Trash send me into a fury. Why? Because I am White Trash. It’s my heritage and I was horrified by it. Now, I realize they’re just simple words and I laugh when I hear them. I don’t let mere words hold sway over me but I have tremendous power to control others because so many people do.